I’m a jealous person and I always have been.

I think it should be a diagnosis, something I can tell people whenever they start judging me for hating on others, “sorry, I have chronic jealousy, I can’t really control my feelings.” It’s not like I want to be envious of others, not like I want to feel resentful every time I see a love-struck couple in a coffee shop, or watch as my friends give out presents and think mine is so much worse than everyone else’s. I just can’t be happy for other people and that makes me a terrible person.

I’m not a terrible person.

Jealousy doesn’t make me a bad person.

It’s healthy to be a little jealous. Okay, maybe not to the extent I used to be, but still. Jealousy is a part of life and it’s there tell to us something about ourselves, about our needs. It is widely considered a ‘toxic’ emotion. Something that causes rifts in friendships and the end of relationships which therefore causes us to start expressing our jealousy as hatred – to ourselves and/or to other.

The main mistake most people make with their jealousy is telling themselves that the feeling is “wrong” or “sinful”. The guilt of jealousy is what makes it a negative emotion. In reality, by accepting and listening to your jealousy, you can better understand what it is you really want and therefore work towards your goal. Jealousy stems from a place of anxiety: the more stressed and tired you are, the more jealous your likely to be. By realising the intensity of your jealousy, you can realise just how worn down your body is and take a break. It doesn’t have to be a long one, just enough to distract yourself before your thoughts become overwhelming. Try writing a gratitude list. It may sound kind of corny, but a little gratitude can go a long way as it reminds you that while your life may not be perfect, there’s still plenty of things in life that are going for you.

Jealousy is a difficult emotion to deal with. It’s painful and difficult to express, but it festers. You have to confront your jealousy or it will only cause more issues. Remember your worth and take time for yourself.

So I may be a jealous person, but I’m also a good person and I always try to be.